The Little Pet Shop of Nobodies
by tobi's.little.kunochi
Summary: What happens when Xemnas can't deal with Roxas,Axel,and Demyx and he kicks them out of TWTNW? They go to a pet shop of course! Expect pissed off hamsters,obsessed birds, and broken reading glasses! Sorry for the cruddy summary... Rated T just in case


_AN: Alright, this is my first fic ever and I know it sucks. But damn was it fun to write! If you squint, you might be able to see a little AkuRoku. I don't normally like the pairing but it kind of just slipped in while I was writing. Enjoy!_

The Little Pet Shop of Nobodies

The all-knowing Superior of the fabled Organization XIII, a nobody so powerful that the very sight of him made small children cry the world over, sat in his nonexistent office in the World that Never Was. You'd think said Superior would be planning some extravagant plan to finally finish Kingdom Hearts or warp the memories of the innocent for his own bidding.

This was not the case.

As Xemnas sat at his plain, white desk in his plain, white office, he began to rub his temple's slowly to relieve himself of the migraine he had been suffering all day (yes, nobodies can have migraine's). Ever since this morning he had been suffering from chronic headaches and migraines caused by, in his opinion, one of the most childish, naïve and annoying nobodies to live in the World that Never Was. As said Superior reached for his bottle of aspirin that he had stored in one of his desk drawers, he tried to remember why he had let that imbecile join his precious Organization, but he couldn't remember why.

Seconds later, he heard a crash and what sounded like a wave of water wash through the hallways right outside his door. Xemnas looked up from some paperwork he had been reading to see water pooling at the bottom of his office door. 'Alright', he thought, 'it's about time I give Number 9 something to do that doesn't involve damaging the only shred of sanity I have left'.

As quietly as he could, Xemnas left the peacefulness that was his office, and went to see what kind of havoc had been created now. What he saw did not please him. The hallway looked like a hurricane had whipped it's way through it with enough force to strip the walls clean of their white paint and reveal an unpleasing gray color behind. In the middle of said hallway was Number 8 chasing the Melodious Nocturne around with a murderous glint in his eyes. Behind all the fighting and drenched walls, one could see Roxas laughing to the point of crying.

"That's enough!" Xemnas's booming voice echoed through the many hallways, stopping Demyx and Axel cold. With another rub to his temple's, Number 1 asked the question that he dared not ask, "What in the name of Kingdom Hearts where you all doing?"

After a few moments of silence, Demyx piped up as the only one brave (or foolish) enough to answer his Superior's question. "We where tying to find Xigbar, when I could of sworn I saw him on the ceiling, so I kind of tried to get him down with some water but I accidentally hit Axel, so now he's trying to kill me", Number 9 said with a pair of hands that so happened to be around his neck and belonging to said pyromaniac.

"I want all three of you to go out and do something that is so far away that I won't be able to see or hear you" Xemnas pointed down a random hallway with one hand while massaging his poor forehead. Not only was the stupidity in this hallway finally getting to him, but also he feared he'd need to buy at least ten more bottles of aspirin to deal with this painful headache.

Slowly but surely, the three nobodies that had been previously causing all this turmoil left the presence of their Superior to find something else to do. Seeing the nobodies leave, Xemnas quickly fled to his office for another aspirin and some peace and quiet.

"So… what are we suppose to do now?" Number 13 tried to get a conversation started as he and his two other companions walked through another hallway that just happened to pass the kitchen. Axel, who had been trying to squeeze the water from his coat before, looked at Roxas and shrugged his shoulders. As the group wandered into the kitchen, an annoyed voice broke them from their stupor.

"What could possible make the three of you look so down?" from behind a thick-looking book came the voice of Organization XIII's Cloaked Schemer, Zexion. The slate-haired nobody continued to look upon the three drenched nobodies, occasionally sipping what looked like iced-tea from a dark-blue mug.

"Demyx thought it would be smart idea to send a tsunami through the hallway right outside Xemnas's door, so now he's kicked us out" Axel replied as he grabbed two cans of Sprite from a rather large, white refrigerator and tossed one of said cans to Roxas.

"And now we have nothing to do!" Demyx whined from the kitchen table he was sitting at. Roxas and Axel took a seat at said table and continued to sip their sodas. Looking at the _poor_, _hapless _nobodies, the Cloaked Schemer sighed and placed his book down. He had a feeling they where either going to annoy him into coming up with some extraordinary idea to relieve them of boredom, or just sit their in depression. Personally he didn't like the sound of either scenario.

"Well…" Zexion placed a pair of reading glasses that had been perched on his nose down next to his abandoned book, "You could always visit the mall in Twilight Town. I heard from Number Four that they have a wide variety of stores." The Cloaked Schemer hoped this would be enough to convince the three to leave him in peace. He was at the best part of his book, and he was really hoping to finish it some time today.

Axel took a long sip of his Sprite while contemplating the thought of going to the mall. He was low on munny, but if ended up stealing anything nobody (no pun intended) would be able to stop him. That, and he was running low on hair gel (how else would he style his hair?).

"Hmm… Roxas what do you think?" Axel asked as he nonchalantly took another sip of his near empty soda can.

"Sounds good to me. What do you think Dem?" Number 13 asked as he watched Demyx try and lick his elbow, and failing.

Number 9 took attention away from his elbow long enough to say, "It's settled! We're going to the mall!" As Axel and Roxas threw away their soda cans (since recycling doesn't exist in the World that Never Was), Demyx summoned a portal and the three left on their merry way.

After the portal evaporated from sight, Number Six let out a sigh of relief and continued to read his forgotten book. That is until he dropped his reading glasses and watched as they shattered to bits on the cold, tiled floor. Zexion continued to sit there, staring at the poor glasses that had once been sitting on the table. If you looked closely, you could see his left eye twitch ever so slightly.

~Twilight Town~

Sunset Mall, a quaint, little mall in a laid-back town. The orange and red theme that endowed the mall complemented the splendor of Twilight Town's famous setting sun. All was well and peaceful. Unless you counted the three dark portals that had just appeared out in front of said mall, than yes, everything was fine.

As our three nobodies stepped out of the misty, swirling portals, Roxas decided to put his begging strategy into motion.

"Hey Axel, can we get some ice-cream please! We're all out of Sea-Salt ice-cream at home!" Roxas put his best pouting face that made fangirls worldwide faint in sheer ecstasy. Roxas knew he could get whatever he wanted from Axel when he put on his pouting face.

"Sorry Rox. I'm fresh outta munny. Try asking Demyx", Axel told Roxas right as they where entering the mall. Number 13 decided to give up all together. If it didn't work on Axel, it wasn't going to work on Demyx.

As the three walked into the mall, Demyx decided to run over to a map of the mall that was so conveniently placed right near the mall's entrance. Roxas and Axel followed him to map and the three tried to decide on where to go first.

"Where do they sell hair gel?"

"Let's go to a clothing store! I'm running low on shirts since everything else I own has been shredded to bits by heartless."

"How 'bout we go to the food court?"

It was then that Demyx spotted the one thing that he'd wanted to do for a long time, but never got a chance to do it. "Let's go the Pet Store!" Demyx hollered happily.

For a few moments there was complete silence, until Axel decided to ask something, "Uhh… Why?"

It took Number 9 a moment to remember exactly why he wanted to go, but in the end he couldn't remember. So he ended up smiling like a goof, shrugging his shoulder's to Axel's question and running full blown to the Pet Store on the other end of the mall. What's worse was that he ended up dragging his other two companions with him.

"And here we are!" Demyx was now standing outside the Pet Store after making two wrong turns and running up a flight of stairs, all while dragging a battered Axel and Roxas behind him.

"Well, I'm gonna go….OMG!!! They have fish here!" and Demyx bolted again. This time however he didn't drag Axel and Roxas with him. Speaking of the two, they where just recovering from their 'journey' to the pet store and where now standing up.

"This kid has WAY too much energy!" Axel semi yelled as he slightly limped into the store. "I mean, he could have warned us! But no, he didn't. He just grabbed us and ran! Right Roxas?" but to his dismay, Roxas had wondered off.

Number Eight sighed solemnly. 'I might as well do something while I'm here' he thought to himself as he passed a row off cages holding reptiles of all sizes. There where long, colorful snakes and turtles that swam and walked. There where lizards, and frogs, and giant hairy tarantulas. But none of them caught the pyro's attention. Nope, not a one. Axel was more preoccupied with another animal in the store. Said animal just happened to be a hamster. Yes, The flurry of dancing flames had a soft spot for hamsters.

Axel was currently standing by a few cages that where completely filled with hamsters. He was looking at one particular hamster that reminded him of Roxas with its black and white fur. As he kept his attention on said hamster, he didn't realize the danger that he was soon to face.

As it crept closer, it's beady eyes staring at the redhead with hate, it let out a terrifying….

"SQUIEEEKKKKK!!!!!"

Axel jumped back, nearly tripping on a dog toy that was lying on the ground, and gripped his chest as if he had suffered a heart attack.

"What the hell!!" Axel yelled as he glared at the little monster that let out the horrifying screech.

There, sitting near the Roxas look-a-like was a very pissed hamster. However this was no ordinary hamster, for this was an Axel look-a-like hamster. Said hamster tried lounging for Axel but failed due to the cage that separated them.

Axel continued to stare at the rodent, except now he wasn't terrified. As he crept closer to the cage he noticed his little hamster double stare him down. What was this things problem? And then it hit him.

"You're jealous?"

His little rodent double squeaked in annoyance.

"Ya you are! I was paying attention to that hamster and you got jealous! Admit it!" at this point Axel was pointing dramatically at his double and yelling rather loudly. This in turn scared most, if not, all the other customers.

Axel the hamster climbed up on top of what looked like a little box inside his cage and then proceeded to shake his head as if he were saying no.

"Then what!?" Axel yelled angrily.

Hamster Axel pointed to a flyer that was tapped to the outside of his cage with a small, red paw. In any other situation, the hamster would have been adorable, but to Axel it was murderous.

Axel took a glance at the flyer while still holding his dramatic stance. The small yellow flyer was decorated with little paw prints and read 'Hamsters on Sale'.

"You thought I was going to buy you're little buddy, weren't you?" Axel saw his double shake his head yes. "Nope. I'm not here to buy a new pet. Every since the Xaldin tragedy no one has been aloud to buy anything cute or furry" Axel gave the hamster a truthfully look. After a few suspicious glares, the Axel hamster calmed down and crawled into the little box he had been standing on.

'Well, that was odd. Now where are the other two' Axel started to walk around the store looking for the other two nobodies, completely forgetting about the previous events.

~With Roxas~

Number 13 had decided to wander around the store until he wandered into an area that was filled with nothing but birds. He wasn't really a bird person, but he decided it was probably the safest part of the store. How wrong he was.

As he walked by a particularly large cage, he noticed that the birds inside where looking at him rather oddly. At first it looked like fear, but on closer inspection he realized they had they same eyes as fangirls. Crazy, adoring fangirls.

"Uhh…" Roxas was a little creeped out now. He walked away from the first cage but ran into another cage with the same fangirlish birds. One squawked in anger as he tried to run away and another that had apparently broken out of his cage landed on his shoulder.

'Oh dear dusk! Get'm off!' Roxas was now completely covered in adoring birds. In a last ditch attempt to free himself, he summoned his Oathkeeper keyblade and started hacking wildly at the birds, but missed every one of them.

"Get'm off!" Roxas was now running down the hallways of the pet store. After running down two aisle's and nearly crashing into a little kid and his dog, he ran right into Axel.

"Oh dusk, Axel you gotta help me! This birds are trying to eat me!" Roxas screamed through a flurry of feathers. Axel promptly summoned his chakmara's and barbequed every last one of the poor, crazy birds.

"Roxas, they weren't trying to eat you. I think they where fans. Insane, yes, but they where definitely fans" Axel de-summoned his chakamara's as Roxas did the same with his keyblade.

"Axel, all fans are insane. That's a proven scientific fact" after Roxas picked a feather from his mouth; he started to pull feathers out of his coat and hair.

"Come on, we're getting out of here whether Demyx likes it or not" the two walked towards the fish department, but the nobody wasn't there. As they kept walking they finally found him buying…. something.

After thanking the cashier, Demyx turned around to find two tired, pissed looking nobodies.

"Oh, hi guys! Look I got… why is Roxas covered in feathers?" Demyx was slightly freaked out, but knowing Roxas he probably just got himself into something.

"Never mind that, what's in the bag?"

"Oh yeah! Look, I got a pet goldfish", Demyx than gently lifted a clear plastic bag up from the paper bag he had been carrying, "His name is Specks!". The goldfish was rather small and true to its name was covered in little specks of white along with the usually orange that goldfish were colored.

As Demyx played with Specks, Roxas and Axel pulled him through the mall till the got to the entrance they had originally come through.

"Come on Demyx. Were going home," Roxas said as he summoned a dark portal. Demyx put Specks back in the paper bag as the three left for home.

~The Next Day~

"You guys! Help!" Axel, Roxas, and Xigbar had been watching TV when they heard someone yelling. As they turned their heads to see who it was, Number 9 came crashing into the room and tripped over a shadow heartless that was carelessly sitting there.

"What the hell! Demyx what's wrong?" Xigbar was the one to ask. After Demyx stood up and pretended to dust himself he went on yelling again.

"I forgot to buy fish food at the pet store!" at the mention of 'pet store' Roxas went cold.

"Xigbar, it's your turn to take Demyx out to that hell hole" Axel got up and started pushing the Freeshooter towards Demyx.

"Wait, why do I have to go!" Xigbar was not pleased being forced into babysitting someone. Not at all.

"Oh you'll see" Axel gave a devious smile as Xigbar gave in and left with Demyx.


End file.
